It's past three in the morning. Here I am, in front of the computer screen, huddled in my blanket, and blogging. Yes, insanity, but when emotions hit like you like a whirlwind and nobody else is there, who else but my trusty 'ol blog to turn to.
And we never knew how lost can be such a woeful feeling. Few, maybe none, would be able to understand the complexity of this situation. We could leave this town, and run forever. Yeah, leaving this little island for good seems so perfect a plan. But you find it so hard to comprehend. Lost is much more than not finding your way back home. Lost is when you have not the slighest hint of where your home is. It is when you don't even know what a home means. It is when you feel the emptiness chewing away your insides in delight. It is when you feel like shipping yourself to a faraway place, never to return again. Lost, is a horrible feeling.
But I never do appear the way I feel.
It's easier to deceive others, than to deceive yourself.
I wish I could spend the night out on an open field.
I'll gaze at the stars in the night sky.
I'll make plenty of wishes.
And then, I'll just fall asleep..
posted by cigarettelove @ 9:08 AM
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